Pacing The Unknown Routes Of Destiny
by Zoja
Summary: My idea of Harm and Mac's life after series finale.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **The first chapter of the edited version of this story. Those of you, who have read it before the edition will see a lot of similarities, but that's because real, major changes will start appearing a little later. A huge thank you to _byrhthelm _for correcting my English. I hope that all of you, who decided to stick to this story will like this version and those, who will start reading for the first time, simply enjoy it.

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**CHAPTER 1**

It was a middle of the night when Sarah MacKenzie found herself sitting on the bed and looking out of the window, thinking about all of the events, which had taken place in the previous week. She glanced to the side and her eyes fell at her fiancé; his regular breathing was a very clear indication that in contrast to her, he was sleeping peacefully. She smiled at the thought of their friends' reaction to the announcement of their engagement. Their shock was obvious, just like the fact that they hadn't expect it. Yet, the truth was that neither had she. Harriet's words, which had come with the blonde Lieutenant's congratulations, perfectly described her mood and thoughts during the last few days in DC after receiving her new orders, which reassigned her from the JAG headquarters.

"_When Bud told me that you were going to San Diego and the Captain to London, I thought that the two of you would never have the chance to open your eyes, stop dancing around each other and be together now."_

They were exactly the same thoughts as those which appeared in her mind after General Creswell gave them their new orders, informing them that they would be five and a half thousand miles apart. She had tried to talk to Harm, but he didn't seem to see any problem with it – but she did. She wasn't the kind of person, who believed in long-distance relationships and such a long distance wouldn't allow them even the slightest of chances to keep their friendship alive, much less any chance of having a serious relationship. She didn't know how to describe her thoughts and feelings to him, though; they had never been able to talk about what was between them and that hadn't changed even in a situation like this. It was only when she went to his apartment to say goodbye that they finally managed to talk honestly. She had absolutely no idea that he would propose – she would be perfectly satisfied if he simply said that he wanted them to work on keeping their friendship and maybe even starting something more. And, as much as she was shocked, she couldn't deny that proposing was the clearest way to show her that he wanted them to be together.

Now, in an indefinite future, she was going to be Mrs Rabb and share her whole life with Harm. The truth was, that they have already been sharing it since the moment they met; he had always been with her, whenever she needed it and no matter how bad things seemed to be between them, they always managed to reach an agreement, forgive each other and be the best of friends again. She was aware that over all those years she had hurt him repeatedly, but even after she had almost married another man and plainly told him that their relationship made no sense to her, and that it would never work, he was still there and it spoke volumes to the strength of his feelings and his commitment to her. He even refused to back away from her when she informed him that despite the deal they had made, it was highly probable that she would never be able to give him a child.

It made her feel horrible despite his constant reassurances that he was fine with it, that the four percent chance was still something and they could still make it happen. She couldn't imagine that Harm could never have children, especially that she was certain he would be a wonderful, loving father, ready to do everything for his son or daughter. She had always dreamed that one day she would get to have little Harmon Rabb the Third, who would probably often drive her crazy, but who she would love more than anything else in the world. Yes, in her mind their child was always a boy; the spitting image of his father, who would share his love for planes and flying, even if only the thought of it made her stomach twinge.

Right now, however, she was rejoicing in the fact that he was with her in San Diego, and he hadn't had to leave the Navy to make it happen. He was more than ready to hold on to their deal and do it, after the coin had landed with tails up. They were both glad that General Creswell had found an opportunity for him to be stationed in San Diego, in the very same building even, even if it meant that he had to become a judge. It wasn't the position of his dreams, but it still made him happy as it allowed him to be with Mac and stay in the Navy, as well as be in court. She could only wonder if he was still going to be so happy in a few months; he hadn't even been to the building, yet, not to mention meeting his co-workers or other lawyers with whom he was going to work.

Mac, on the other hand, had already been in her new office for a week, but still hadn't yet met everyone. It was a new office and not everyone had yet reported to their new Duty Station. In the morning she was supposed to meet three more officers, and two of them were to be the most experienced ones who were going to work in her unit. As at that moment, her staff consisted of Lieutenant Ashley Cooper, who had just finished law school, Lieutenant Walter Miles, who had only a little more experience and Lieutenant Ryan Smith, who had been a lawyer for five years. There was also her Yeoman, Petty Officer First Class Jennifer Coates, and a couple of other enlisted members of the Navy and Marines. Lack of experienced staff had been frustrating and she hoped that from this week, the office would really start working. She hoped that she was going to be able to create something similar to what Admiral Cheggwidden had created at JAG HQ – a family, in which everyone could trust each other and count on each other.

"Maac… It's the middle of the night. Go back to sleep." sounded Harm's sleepy voice.

She smiled to herself and felt his arms come around her waist and pull her close after she had laid down on her pillow. If she had known how happy it would make her to be with him, she would have never let them waste these nine years, but there was nothing she could do about that now. She could only try her best not to let this relationship get destroyed like all of her relationships in the past.

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Harm smiled to himself, when the elevator stopped on the floor where Mac's office was located. It was surely yet another advantage, that despite working in different units, they were still in the same building. He was sure that it was going to give him the opportunity to spend more time with her during the day, not only evenings at home, when they were both tired after work. All he needed to do was call and ask if she was available, and he could take her out for lunch or order something to one of their offices and eat it together.

He looked around, taking in the semi-empty room. Because of the lunch-time, most of the people were elsewhere and it gave him a good opportunity to watch the place carefully. She had already been working here for a week and he hadn't visited her yet. It reminded him a little of the bullpen back at JAG HQ, but was sunnier and more modern. It also had much better view through the window, at the palms growing alongside the water.

"Can I help you, Captain?"

He jumped slightly when a young, short, red-headed woman in a Navy uniform appeared in front of him with a friendly smile on her face. He easily guessed that she had to be Lieutenant Ashley Cooper. The JAG Corps Mill Rindes gave her away as a lawyer and he remembered his fiancée's comment that she had the reddest hair Mac had ever seen in her life; he definitely had to agree with her.

"I'm looking for Colonel MacKenzie."

She nodded and pointed to the side of the room, where he spotted the familiar face of Jennifer Coates. Just as it had been earlier discussed, she accompanied Mac and Harm to San Diego. Even though in theory it was a step back for her, since the office in DC had greater prestige than this one, she was very happy with the change. Ever since she was a little girl, she had always dreamed about living in California, although at that time her aim was to become a famous Hollywood actress. Even though she had only been in California for such a short time, she was more than certain that it was a good thing to come here. She loved everything about the Bear State – warm climate, beautiful landscapes, the atmosphere of the city… It could change in the future but for the time being, she felt that she had found the place where she belonged.

However, both Harm and Mac – and possibly to a lesser extent, Coates – were a little disappointed that Bud and Harriet decided to stay in DC despite the fact that they no longer had to choose between London and San Diego. Harm and Mac suspected that the initial hesitation on their side had been by an unwillingness to choose to choose which one of them to follow, without offending the other. They were surprised when the Roberts turned down the proposition down, but had no other choice but to accept their decision. If it was what they wanted, Harm and Mac would be fine with it.

Jen was sitting at her desk, looking for one particular item amongst all the paperwork which threatened to swamp her desk; she was so focused on searching that she didn't notice Harm's presence until he cleared his throat. Upon that, she immediately jumped out her chair and into a brace, and Harm could see a hint of relief in his eyes as she recognised him, knowing that he would let her slide on her lack of alertness where perhaps a strange officer would not.

"Captain Rabb! It's good to see you!" she smiled. "I'm afraid you have to wait a while, the Colonel has to…"

She paused, when the door to Mac's office opened. Two officers walked out of the room; a tall, black haired Lieutenant Commander and few inches shorter blonde haired Major, both in their late twenties or middle thirties.

"I think you can go in now, sir," Jen corrected herself with a further smile

He nodded and took a few steps forward. For a moment or two he simply stood in the doorway, watching his fiancée as she wrote something in the file lying on her desk. She looked up when he knocked gently and her face immediately grew a huge smile.

"You've got a perfect timing, Captain. I just was thinking about you." she stated when he closed the door behind himself and approached the desk.

"Good. What would you say to a lunch with me, somewhere nearby?" he said, flashing his famous Rabb smile and the initial thought to pretend that she was hesitating, quickly disappeared from her mind.

"How about this restaurant on the ground floor? I'm curious what they're serving."

It didn't take them long to get to the place which she was talking about. Most of the people inside were wearing Navy or Marines uniforms, so they didn't stand out. Still, they chose a small table in a corner, trying their best to ignore curious glances sent in their direction, especially by the people who knew them. It was a rather small restaurant and it didn't have any exclusive dishes in the menu, just casual lunches and dinners for people, who didn't have time to prepare something themselves. Harm didn't hesitate to order a salad and was shocked, when Mac informed him that she wanted a chicken salad.

"What?" she asked, looking at him with her eyebrows raised slightly. "Can't I take a salad?"

"Of course you can, but I sort of expected you to order the 'real meat' like the Marine I know."

"Next time, today I feel like a chicken salad."

"Starting with a chicken salad, maybe I will make a vegetarian of you…"

"Forget about that, Sailor. I won't eat like a rabbit!"

They laughed and talked about their respective days for a while until their food was brought to their table. They ate their lunch slowly and continued their light conversation.

"You really chose a good moment to come. I've just given Major Johnson and Commander Watson their first case and was about to call you."

"You gave them a case on their first day? They will hate you!"

"Remember my first day at JAG? I wasn't sitting behind my desk and getting familiar with the new place. How about you? Have you already gotten a case?"

"I have a preliminary hearing tomorrow morning. I'll get to meet more of your people; as for now, I have only talked to Lieutenant Cooper. I did however, received a phone call about Mattie."

"Oh? What did you find out?"

"Not much… They called at a time when I couldn't really talk but they're supposed to call me back later this afternoon."

And they did. Mac was lying on the bed and trying to read the book, while he was spoke to the people from social services in another room. She was curious to hear the news, but at the same time, didn't want to be intrusive and had retreated to the bedroom to give him space and privacy. She could hear his voice, but the words weren't clear enough for her to know what they were talking about. She glanced up, when she heard the door opening and saw his figure in the door.

"Harm?" she asked, placing the book to the side.

The way he was standing made it clear for her that something was wrong and she didn't hesitate to get off the bed and approach him. Her concerns were confirmed, when he did everything to avoid her gaze and she cupped his cheek, making him look at her. He was very intently fighting the tears, which were threatening to fill his eyes. He sighed and leaned down, wrapping his arms around her and hid his face in the crook of her neck.

"Mattie won't be joining us here. The court denied my petition for her guardianship," he mumbled after a while, when he managed to calm down.

"What? That's impossible!"

She stared at him in shock. She would never have thought that it was actually possible for him not to be assigned as Mattie's guardian, especially taking into account he had already been appointed in that capacity before the teenager decided to reconcile with her father. Mac was certain that there was no-one else better fitted for the task. Whenever she pictured her future with Harm, Mattie was an integral part of that image, and to suddenly be faced with such a negative decision - that Mattie wasn't going to be a part of their new family seemed like the most crushing disappointment in the world.

"Why would they do such thing?"

"They are concerned about her health… They believe that travelling the entire breadth of the continent might have a bad influence on her recovery… She would have to get accustomed to the new place, new doctors, practically everything in her life… And I couldn't hide that I want to have her moved here, so she would be closer…"

"But… That's the most arrant nonsense I've ever heard!" she exclaimed, unable to believe his words. "I can't deny that such a long travel might be difficult, but the rest of their arguments?! I don't see any difference in being treated here! Besides, she _wants _to come here, doesn't she?"

"She does, very much. Me, Jen, everyone she has is here…"

Mac sighed heavily, placing a loving kiss on top of his head. She really couldn't believe that they rejected his application for guardianship with such an explanation, it seemed impossible to her. She was certain that there had to be something more to it than what he related to her, and she knew him well enough to know that after he heard the main information, he didn't pay that much attention to the rest. She needed to find out everything.

"I'm sorry Mac, I…"

"No, Harm. Don't apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. You're there for me, when I need someone to talk to or to give me support, and I want to be there for you."

"Thanks…"

He pulled her to the couch and they sat on it, cuddled together. From the outside they looked like they were watching TV, but neither one of them was paying any attention to what was on the screen. Both of them were thinking about Mattie; Harm was wondering how to break the news to the girl and Mac had already started to plan what they could do to change this decision.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **I'd like to ask all those of you, who haven't done it, yet, to go back to chapter 1 and read its edited version. I didn't delete it completely, but I replaced it and you didn't get a notification about the change. Thanks a lot.

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**CHAPTER 2**

No relationship can be perfect all the time and Harm and Mac definitely didn't expect theirs to be so. There were always some trivial reasons or minor misunderstandings leading to a quarrel, or some outside circumstances influencing people's lives and making them difficult The news that Mattie wasn't going to live with them was just that and it caused a very tense and awkward atmosphere in their apartment. Harm became withdrawn and taciturn; more often than not, he was there physically but his mind was completely elsewhere. It was driving Mac crazy to hear him ask her to repeat what she was saying for the fifth time in half of an hour, and she could only hope for things to move forward faster. She understood perfectly that it was very difficult for him to accept the situation; he had already had almost lost Mattie in the accident and now the court had ruled against his petition for custody. But with Mattie being so far away the court's decision was tantamount to removing Mattie permanently from Harm and her lives.

Mac silently decided to query the court's decision although she also decided not to tell Harm that she was doing so, not wanting to raise false hopes. But for both their sakes she needed to find out just what was the real reason behind the rejection of his application. It had to be something truly serious but as long as they didn't know what exactly, they couldn't work on changing it. So, one morning as she sat behind her desk, thinking over the whole situation, and after some deliberation, decided to try to call again the woman who had dealt with Mattie's case. She had made a previous attempt a few days earlier, only to be told that person who was dealing with the case now had taken a few days leave and the individual with whom Mac was speaking wasn't familiar with it. This time, after a short delay, she was passed on to another person.

"This is Lieutenant Colonel Sarah MacKenzie. I am calling with regard to the Matilda Johnson case. I'm Captain Rabb's fiancée. Would it be possible for you to tell me why his application for custody was turned down?"

"Wait a moment please." was all she heard and she could only sigh in exasperation. She waited exactly five minutes and seventeen seconds before her interlocutor spoke to her again. "I am very sorry to keep you waiting for so long, Colonel. I also have to offer you our most sincere apologies. There has been an unfortunate mistake. Our new employee hasn't yet quite got the hang of his new responsibilities… We have two very similar cases and it appears that my colleague has transposed the telephone numbers of the applicants. Captain Rabb's request was accepted, but before everything can be finalized, we will need to arrange a home visit to ensure that your living conditions are satisfactory. There are also outstanding questions about school and therapy…"

"So, she is coming to live with us?" Mac asked, a bit confused.

Before she called, she had prepared herself for a strong exchange of views. She had rehearsed the arguments which she could use to convince the authorities that the rejection of Harm's petition was absolutely ridiculous. To hear that it was a mistake had been made was completely unexpected.

"Yes… Assuming that there aren't any grounds for reservations after the visit, the Captain will become her guardian officially and then you will be allowed to have her transported to San Diego, when her condition improves enough for her to travel."

"Thank you very much for your help. Goodbye."

Mac hung up and without wasting a second immediately sprung to her feet. She couldn't wait to go to Harm and break the happy news to him. She could hardly control her happiness and knew that he was going to be ecstatic to hear that his request wasn't rejected. She was so engrossed in the happy thoughts that she almost collided with Coates, who opened the door in the very same moment, when she reached for the handle.

"I'm sorry, Colonel." spoke Jennifer, taking a step back. "General Creswell is on the line."

"Did he say why?"

"No, Ma'am. He just said that it was very important, Ma'am. Oh, and Captain Rabb was here. He asked me to tell you not to wait for him and that you were to go straight home, because he has a very important matter to settle, Ma'am."

"And you didn't tell him to come in? I told you…"

"I know, Ma'am, and I told him to come in but he said he didn't have the time…"

"Okay, thank you."

Mac had no other choice but to go back to her desk, wondering what the General could want from her. From the day she arrived in San Diego, he hadn't even called once, so she didn't think he had any reservations concerning her work. She believed that if he had had any doubts he would have already called her. She had absolutely no idea what she could have done to merit his sudden interest, especially since that she had been in post for less than three weeks and hadn't done anything that she hadn't done before.

"Lieutenant Colonel MacKenzie." she spoke, finally lifting the receiver to answer the phone.

"Good morning, Colonel." sounded the General's voice. "I think you should tell your Yeoman that there are no more important call than when the General is calling…"

Mac smiled, trying her best to stifle a chuckle. Jennifer Coates was really good at what she was doing – she always performed her duties on time and everyone could count on her. However, she had to admit that there were times, when she said more than she should to the wrong people. By the hint of laughter in her CO's voice, Mac knew that he didn't feel offended, especially that he knew Jen's ways.

"Please tell me, Colonel, what are your thoughts about your subordinates?"

"Well, it's hard for me to give a really creditable opinion because I haven't worked with them for long… From what I hear and observe, though, I think they are good lawyers. Lieutenant Cooper needs to gain experience, so does Lieutenant Miles, but I think that when they get it, they will be really great. Lieutenant Martin seems to be a bit lost in court at times and has made some slips, but I believe it's just a matter of gaining a little more self-confidence. Lieutenant Smith…"

"I don't need a detailed run down of everyone in your office, I don't even know the people. I just want to know your overall opinion of them as a group."

"I am happy with them, Sir."

"Very well… Choose the best two of your people, then. One of them will temporarily assume your command. I want to see you here in two days; you have been requested by SecNav to prosecute a major, high profile case against Lieutenant Commander Wards. The other person chosen by you will sit second chair, so some experience on their part would be useful. Understood?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Good, return to your duties, then." he said and disconnected.

Of all the possibilities, being summoned to DC wasn't something she expected. She was certain, however, that if SecNav decided who he wanted to work on it, it really had to be a high profile case. Still, she had never heard about Lieutenant Commander Wards, but she quickly realised that she couldn't have. They have just moved in into the apartment, and most importantly, they didn't plan to live there long. It was small and rather tight, even for just two people and they were already looking for something bigger. So, they decided to have only the most important furniture brought into the place, keeping all the rest in the storage unit for the time being. TV was one of those things which were still packed in a box. And thinking about TV, she could only hope that the court proceedings wouldn't be transmitted on TV. She didn't want every interested person in the country to hear comments about her appearance, every word and the smallest details from personal and professional life, as it had happened some years ago.

She was also thinking about the General's request to take one of her people to sit second chair with her. Surely, there were enough JAGs on his staff to choose from, but she would find out soon, anyway. Meanwhile, she was left with a not so easy choice who should stay in San Diego, and who should accompany her to DC. She had no problems deciding that the two people should be Commander Watson and Major Johnson, they were the most experienced officers in her unit and had the highest rank amongst the staff. It was obvious that the person she left in charge of the unit should have the others respect and it was a no-brainer that it would have to be one of her two most senior officers. The problem was that both Watson and Johnson were unknown quantities as far as Mac was concerned, and right now she was completely undecided about who should stay, and who should go with her. But, since she didn't have to make the decision immediately, she decided to give herself a little more time.

When she returned home, she quickly realised that Harm hadn't yet come in and she started to wonder what was taking him so much time, especially since he hadn't left any messages. She also couldn't wait to share the news about Mattie with him. It was going to be so good to see him happy for a change - she had no doubts about his reaction! But until he returned there wasn't much she could do, so she passed the time until he came home by taking a longer than usual bath and even managed to read three chapters of her current book before he walked in.

"How was your day, Marine?" he asked, sitting down next to her on the couch.

She looked at him, placing the book on the small table in front of the couch. For a moment she thought about asking whether he overheard her conversation with social services, but she eventually decided that it was impossible. Then her suspicions moved to Coates, but that didn't seem probable either. Still, he looked much better than he had during the previous couple of days and her curiosity about the reason behind it was raised really high.

"Good, and yours? Jen told me that you had an important matter to settle, but I can't remember you mentioning any such thing to me…"

"Yeah, that's what I told her to avoid her questions… I didn't have court, so I decided to take a day off and finally visit my mom and Frank… We've been here for such a long time and I hadn't even visited them, yet. My mom kept reminding me about that every time she called."

"And you have spent your _whole day_ there?"

"Trust me, if I hadn't told my mom that you were waiting for me, I wouldn't have gotten back until tomorrow! I had to tell her absolutely everything about my proposal, how I got my orders for San Diego and so on. And, of course, I had to listen to her complaining about me not coming to visit earlier and, when I finally had, not taking you with me."

"I see. But it's a pity that you didn't come in to my office before you left. I wouldn't have had to struggle all day not to share the happy news with Jennifer."

His facial expression changed immediately. He was trying to guess what it could be, but nothing came to his mind. She could almost see the wheels turning in his head, as he was thinking about it and a corner of her mouth moved up, when he glanced at her with his eyes telling her that he had absolutely no idea what she meant.

"What news?"

"I simply made a quick phone call today and found out that someone had made a mistake… A not very pleasant mistake, a small mistake in itself, but one that had major consequences."

"Maac."Harm protested while she chuckled, and rolled her eyes playfully.

"It's about Mattie. When the doctors say that her condition is good enough to travel across the continent, she will come to us. Unless we don't pass a home visit to check if the living conditions here are suitable.

Harm's eyes widened upon hearing her explanation and for a moment he simply stared at her with his lips parted slightly, his mind processing her words.

"Are you serious?" he finally spoke, and Mac simply nodded her head. "God, Mac! You did it again!" before she realised, she found herself in his arms, pressed tightly against his chest, as he was hugging her. "You were able to make me being Mattie's guardian possible again..!"

"That's something about you that I will probably never understand. When you don't have to, you risk your life even when there is no chance to win, even the smallest one. But when all you need is a bit more faith, or a phone call in this case, you give up."

"And that's usually the time when you come to my rescue!" he remarked, pulling back just a bit to look at her. "What would I do without you?"

"Who knows…" was the only thing she managed to say before he leaned closer and pressed his lips against hers.

"I really don't know how to thank you."

"You already have… But, you could tell me what you were doing the whole day. I don't believe you spent it all at your parents' and my curiosity is eating me alive…"

"But, it's actually true. I've spent the whole day at their place. Well, mainly because my mom was looking for this for over three hours…"

He reached to his pocked and took a small, dark blue box out of it. He opened it and she saw a gold ring with a diamond set in the middle, and much smaller diamonds set around it. He was watching her carefully while she was staring at it, the realisation what sort of ring it was quickly dawned on her.

"Harm…" she started, but two fingers, which he placed on her lips prevented her from continuing.

"I wanted to give it to in more romantic situations, but after what you have just told me, I know that I will never find a better reason to show you how much I love you and how much I appreciate what you're doing for me… I admit that back in DC, I hadn't planned to propose… It's why I wasn't prepared for it and I was a little angry at myself that I hadn't given you a ring for everyone to know that you're mine. I didn't want to run to the shop and buy you a ring because I knew that I already had the right ring for you but in La Jolla. It's sort of a family keepsake… My grandmother received it from my grandfather, then she passed it to my father, and he gave it to my mother. She passed it to me and I can't imagine anyone other than you to wear it…"

She was looking at his face, absolutely speechless. She could feel the tears appear in her eyes and they slowly moved down her face. She knew Harm well enough to know that talking about his feelings has never been easy for him and it only made this speech the more dear to her. She didn't know what to say and in the end, she reached to his face and tenderly stroking his cheeks with her thumbs, she placed a loving kiss on his lips.

"I take it you haven't changed your mind and still want to marry me..?"

"Do you really need to ask?"

He smiled, taking her hand in his, and slipped the ring onto her finger before placing his arm around her waist and pulling her close.

"I love you." she said and wrapped her arms around his neck, closing the distance between them.

"I love you, too." he managed to say before their lips met once again.

The kiss started as innocently as the previous ones, but they allowed it to grow way more passionate. It was just a matter of time before he made her lay on her back, his lips moving from her lips to her jaw line and down her neck. His kisses, licks and gentle nibbles combined with his hands moving all over her body were waking up all of her nerves and sending pleasant sensations through her body. She moaned out, when his tongue found just the right place on her neck to make her melt in his arms and he grinned, his own excitement growing very fast. She sighed, when she felt his hands slip under her shirt and take it off, dropping it to the floor before she felt him cup her breasts and gasped in response.

"Bed, immediately." she said in her command voice and his smiled only widened.

"Yes, Ma'am."

He didn't waste a second. She squeaked, when he suddenly slipped his arms under her and lifted her from the couch. She immediately wrapped her legs around him and leaned down to kiss him, his tongue slipping into her mouth and engaged hers in a duel. They slowly made their way into the bedroom and he carefully placed her in the middle of the bed and took off his jacket before climbing onto it as well. Then, he laid down on top of her, careful to support his weight and claimed her lips once again.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Thank you everyone for the kind words! It feels so great to recognize some of your names as those, who reviewed the story back when I started to publish it for the first time! I also love to see new people finding the story! Thanks to byrhthelm, of course, for correcting my mistakes. I hope you will all enjoy this chapter!

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**CHAPTER 3**

Mac didn't until the next morning realise that she had completely forgotten to tell Harm about the General's call. She didn't want to go, she would rather stay in San Diego, but she had no choice in this matter. All she could do was think about the positive side of the unexpected trip; she would visit Mattie and get to see the Roberts family but at the same time she would hope for quick trial and a speedy return home. Not that she wouldn't do her best during the court martial, she was way too professional for that, but she would take the first available flight back to San Diego as soon as the case ended.

It was obvious that Harm wasn't pleased to hear about Mac's forthcoming trip. He wasn't mad at her; he understood that she had other things on her mind after he had returned. Still, he wasn't happy that she needed to leave; it would make her absence a little more bearable if she was at least able to give him an estimate of when she would be back, but there was no way she could even make a guess. It all depended on how quickly the case progressed; the trial could last a few days or a few weeks.

Other than telling Harm, she had to decide who should step up to be her temporary replacement and who should accompany her. Due to the fact that she and whomever she chose needed to leave the very next day, both parties – the replacement and the partner – definitely needed to be told today so that each could make the necessary appropriate arrangements. The truth was, however, that as much as she did go to court to watch her officers in action, she hadn't had such an opportunity with the Major and the Commander. She read their files, of course, but all she found out there was that they both seemed to be excellent lawyers but their files gave no insight into their suitability, or otherwise for command, which wasn't exactly informative. In the end, she came to the conclusion that she would have to explain the situation to the two officers and let them decide. This way she wouldn't make any of them go if they had a reason as to why they simply couldn't leave the city at that moment.

"Good morning, Colonel." spoke Jennifer, standing up when she saw Mac approaching the desk.

"Good morning, Petty officer. Are the Major and the Commander already at work?"

"As far as I know, they're in their offices. Unless they've left without me noticing, they're still there. Should I inform them that you want to see them, Ma'am?"

"Yes, Petty Officer. Tell them I want to see them in my office in five minutes."

She went into her office and smiled, when she saw her morning cup of coffee already waiting for her. Since she always came at the same time, Coates knew exactly when to prepare it so it wouldn't cool down too much. She also noticed a stack of files, which hadn't been there when she left the office on the previous day and could only sigh, taking her place behind her desk. She really liked this job and saw it as an honour to be trusted enough to become a CO of her own unit, but the amount of paperwork sometimes really made her miss working in court. It was less than she remembered finding every day when she was Admiral Cheggwidden's temporary replacement at JAG, but she would rather it appeared in even smaller amounts.

She took a sip of hot coffee and started to look briefly through one of the files, when she heard knocking at the door. Her internal clock told her that the five minutes has passed, and just as she suspected, the Major and the Commander walked into her office, halting in front of her desk. Protocol prevented them from inquiring the reason why they had been summoned, but she could see that they were very curious as to what she could want from them.

"You wanted to see us, Ma'am?" asked Watson and Mac nodded in response.

"That's right. At ease." she pointed to the chairs, which were standing behind them and continued, when they took the places. "I received a phone call from the Judge Advocate General, yesterday. SecNav has requested me to act as prosecuter in Lieutenant Commander Ward's case…"

Mac could see an incomprehensible, for her, expression appear in the Major's eyes, while the Commander clenched his jaw, his mouth forming a thin line on his face. It seemed from their reactions that she was the only person in the room, who was unfamiliar with the case and it only made her unhappier at being chosen to prosecute. If two people, who were at the other side of the country had heard about the case, it meant that the press was interested in it and she was more than certain that it was only going to make the whole case more complicated.

"The court-martial will be in DC, so I won't be in the office for a while. I think you can understand that despite the fact that the replacement will be temporary, I want the person to have some experience and amongst the entire staff, there are only three suitable officers and the two of you are not only the most experienced but also the highest rank... I was also told to nominate someone from my staff to accompany me DC with me and sit second chair. You two both qualify for either assignment. It is a matter of complete indifference to me as to who stays or who goes, so go away now and sort it out between yourselves. I don't need an answer immediately, but I do need it before secure today!"

Mac was curious as to what their decision would be. It was obvious from their facial expressions that neither of them was eager to make the trip to DC, but as much as she didn't have preference as to which one of them would go, she didn't want to take any of the other officers. She couldn't complain about them, they were all good at their jobs, as was only to be expected, but this time around she wanted someone experienced, especially since her instincts were telling her that it wasn't going to be an easy case.

At the same time, the Major and the Commander were sitting in the latter's office and talking about what they had just heard from their commanding officer. Just like she noticed, they both had their reasons why they didn't want to go anywhere.

James didn't want to leave his pregnant wife. There was, at least in theory, still two months until their baby would be born but the doctors didn't hide that it could happen anytime. Especially since Anne had already landed in a hospital a couple of times and she had been quite clearly told that if a similar situation happened once again, she would have to stay there until the birth, provided that she wasn't in need of an immediate C-section. This was their first baby and he definitely didn't want to find himself in DC, when the time came.

Andrea, on the other hand, was rather hesitant to leave her six year old daughter. She had been stationed on a carrier for a few years and her transfer to an office in country was a very good news for her. No matter where it was located, she would finally be able to be with Crystal, so the girl could live with at least one of her parents, feel that they're really with her. Being stationed in San Diego was like hitting a jackpot on the lottery for her; her husband's sister, who was taking care of their daughter, lived in the very same city and she wouldn't even have to change her child's environment, not to mention that she would have someone to count on in case she occasionally needed to stay at work later than usual. She had arrived just a few days earlier and promised her child that now she wasn't going anywhere and she had no idea how she was going to explain this unexpected absence to her. Still, when she heard Watson's reasons for staying in San Diego, she had no hesitation in saying that she would be the one going to DC. She fully sympathised with concerns and wishes and also knew, that Nancy wouldn't see a problem with taking care of Crystal while she was gone.

"Very well, then. Major, take rest of the day off and prepare to leave. Our flight is tomorrow in the early morning. Petty Officer Coates will hand you all the information you need. Hang over your investigation in Ensign Barrev's case to Lieutenant Martin."

"I left my report at your desk yesterday evening, Ma'am." she pointed to the single file, lying on the side of Mac's desk. "I recommend that no court martial be convened, so unless you disagree, that case is closed, Ma'am."

"That's even better. I'll leave you a list of what I want covered while I am away, Commander, and Coates will have it ready for you tomorrow. That'd be all for now, thank you. Dismissed."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mac left the office early as well, knowing she too needed to take care of a few things.. One of them was packing, and it wasn't as easy as it seemed. When she was at Falls Church she always had a go-bag prepared, but coming here, she was certain she would become more settled and wouldn't have to drop everything and leave in a hurry, so the bag wouldn't be needed anymore. The worst thing was that despite thinking that she wasn't taking much, she couldn't fit everything into her usual bag. Presents for the little Roberts were taking more space than all the rest of things she decided that she needed, but leaving the gifts in San Diego was out of question.

She had just checked for the second time that she had absolutely everything she might need and when she glanced up, she noticed Harm standing in the bedroom, watching her with an unintelligible expression in his eyes. She sent a small smile in his direction and noticed with mild dismay the slight nod, which he responded with. He wasn't happy to see her pack and now that they had absolutely no idea when they were going to see each other again. He wanted to spend a little more time with her, so using the opportunity he left work earlier than usually.

"I wanted to buy something for Mattie, but I didn't really know what to get…" she spoke and Harm shrugged after a moment of thinking.

"I would have a problem like this, too… Well, a thick book would probably be good. She admitted that she started to read a lot and when they visit her on the weekend, Bud or Harriet bring her a pile of books for the next couple of days. Do you plan to visit her?"

"Yes, of course I do. I want to see her, and I have a small package for her from Jen. Do you think I shouldn't go?"

"No, no! That's not what I meant, that will be great if you go see her. Where do you plan on staying?"

"I was actually thinking about your apartment… There are still a couple of things left there, and I'd probably need it just to sleep, anyway."

"That's exactly what I wanted to convince you to do. Bud has the keys, I've already called him, so he'll take them to the office tomorrow. Do you want me to take you to the airport?"

"Of course, if you're willing to."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was a very early morning, when they arrived at the airport. The time, however, worked to Harm's advantage; he didn't need to go straight to the office, so he could wear civilian clothes in order to say goodbye to her properly there. She was travelling in her uniform needing to report straight to JAG after arriving, and it wouldn't be good for anyone to see two officers hugging or kissing each other if he chose to dress in his uniform as well. Public displays of affection between officers were frowned upon, even if the two officers concerned were engaged or even married to each other.

After leaving her bag to be loaded into the hold, as it was too big to take it aboard, they walked out of the building. She hadn't suggested meeting her companion at any specific place, and she would definitely be easier to spot outside than amongst the crowd of people inside.

"Don't forget to call me when you arrive." reminded Harm for the fourth time and she rolled her eyes. "If you don't, not only will I not meet you at the airport when you get back, but you can forget about a welcome home dinner!"

"You don't have to cook for me. I can always grab a burger." she chuckled at his facial expression. "There's no need for you to stay with me until the last minute, you know?"

"Is that your way of telling me I should leave?"

"You can stay, of course, but I wouldn't want you to have to hurry later."

"Very well, Marine." he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, giving her a tight hug. "Have a nice flight, and call me!" he leaned down, placing a kiss on her lips before slowly walking away to the car.

She sighed as he walked out of sight and then started to look around, trying to spot Major Johnson. It shouldn't be too difficult, there weren't a lot of people dressed in Marine uniform around – in fact, it seemed that she was the only one. However, it took only a moment for Mac to notice the Major walking in her direction with a little girl in her arms. Mac was certain the child had to be the Major's daughter; her hair was a little different shade of blonde, but she had her mother's facial features, with the exception of the eye colour.

Andrea knew it wasn't going to be easy to say goodbye to Crystal. When she had told her that she needed to go away for some time, the girl started to cry and scream that she promised she wasn't leaving anymore. It made her feel absolutely horrible, as it seemed that her daughter felt betrayed. She didn't really see the difference between this time, and all the previous ones when she was leaving for much longer. In fact, over the first few years of her life, her little girl spent more time with her aunt than with both of her parents and it was probably all thanks to Nancy that she didn't feel like they actually didn't care about her. She might have been very much a surprise baby, but they both loved her very much and Andrea knew that her husband felt as heartbroken to be away from her as she did.

She planned to leave before the girl woke up, but it didn't work out. Crystal was up even before her and didn't want to go back to bed or stay with Nancy at the apartment. So, in the end, all three of them went to the airport and she wondered how to convince her daughter to let her go. Crystal clung to her the moment they got out of the car and the last thing she wanted was for her child to make a scene at the airport. She soon saw Mac and tried to put the child down to salute properly, but Crystal didn't want to let go of her.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am. I didn't plan to bring her here, it's just.."

"That's fine, Major." interrupted Mac and noticed a huge relief in the younger woman's eyes.

"Hey, Cryssy… I really have to go…" she said to the girl and even though she finally stood on the ground, she wrapped her arms around her waist and held her mother tightly.

"I don't want you to go…" she mumbled, clearly at the edge of crying.

"I know, but I'm going to be back sooner than you realise."

"You always say that..." she stated, and Andrea could only sigh heavily; she was acutely aware that this was actually true. "I want to go with you…"

"If you could, I would take you with me." she spoke and lowering herself to the girl's level, she cupped her face and wiped away the tears, which were flowing down her cheeks. "I promise that this time, I'm going to be back much, much sooner. We'll have a great mommy-daughter day then; we'll go to the zoo, to the cinema, have pizza for dinner and a lot of other great stuff."

Mac, who stood on the side, felt awkwardly and completely out of place. She couldn't help thinking of her and Harm's goodbye to little Roberts. The children really didn't want their aunt and uncle to leave, especially AJ and Jimmy since the twins were still a little too young, and it was only on the promise, that they would be allowed to spend some time during holidays with Harm and Mac, that the boys finally let them go. It seemed that they weren't the only ones, who this strategy worked on, as the girl seemed to get convinced, too.

"And can we go to Disneyland some other time..?" she asked hopefully and Andrea smiled.

"We'll think about it, okay?"

"Okay… Will you call me?"

"Of course, Sweetie. Everyday."

So with the threat of a major tantrum averted it was only few minutes later, they were able to enter the terminal building. Mac could see that it wasn't easy for the Major to just walk away, especially since her daughter was standing beside her sister-in-law with her eyes full of tears and she could see that the blonde woman was fighting very hard not to let her weakness be seen. Mac knew from the Major's file that for the last couple of years she had been stationed on a carrier and had unsuccessfully applied without success for a transfer a couple of times, but it was only after her CO changed, that she actually managed to get it. She did wonder about her reasons, but now she knew that it had to be this little girl, who made her try so hard for it.

"I'm really sorry for this, Ma'am." she spoke to her again, regaining full composure when they were seated in the airplane.

"No need to apologize, Major. That's perfectly understandable she doesn't want you to leave, especially since you must have arrived in San Diego just recently."

"That's right, Ma'am, and I promised that this time I'm staying with her."

"Well, let's hope we won't have to stay in DC for very long."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Thanks a lot for the great feedback, that I had received from you! It feels so nice to read your comments! As always, thanks to **byrhthelm **for correcting my mistakes. And here we go with another chapter! :)

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**CHAPTER 4**

The flight to DC definitely wasn't the best Mac had ever taken. Because of the early hours, she felt quite sleepy but the almost non-stop turbulence made it impossible for her to sleep longer than fifteen minutes at a time. She almost resented Major Johnson, who dozed off the moment the plane took off the ground, and when Mac woke her up shortly before landing, she was surprised that they were already in DC and completely unaware that there had been any turbulence.

After four and a half hours in a sitting position, without the opportunity to take a short walk or even simply stand up, Mac's back was starting to hurt and one glance at her was enough to tell even a casual observer that she wasn't in the best of moods. And it definitely didn't improve when she and Major Johnson entered the arrivals area to find no-one waiting to meet them. She actually started to wonder if such a person was supposed to appear but yes, the General told her quite clearly that he would send someone. So, using the opportunity, both women made their promised phone calls, but Mac only managed to get Harm's voice mail.

"Hi Harm, it's me. You wanted me to call you, so I am but you're probably in court as it's half past nine in San Diego. I've just landed and well, in my opinion the flight was horrible but you would probably tell me, that it was nothing… Anyway, I'll call you later or in the evening…"

There wasn't much more to say, so she finished the call and just when she glanced up from the screen, she noticed a very familiar person in a Navy uniform approaching them with a huge smile on his face.

"Colonel MacKenzie!" he spoke, when he stopped in front of them. "It's nice to see you again, Ma'am! Harriet and the kids really can't wait for you to visit us!"

"And I can't wait to see them!" she smiled, and turned to the Major, who stood by her side with a slightly uncomfortable expression on her face. "This is Major Andrea Johnson, one of my JAGs from JSLO. Major, allow me to introduce you to Commander Bud Roberts; he worked with me in JAG."

"It's nice to meet you, Major." he spoke, his smile growing even wider if it was actually possible, when he extended his hand in her direction. She smiled and shook it.

"I just hope I didn't keep you waiting for too long, Ma'am." he said after he had seen them safely into his car. "There's been an accident on the road and I got stuck for some time…"

"Don't worry about that. Is everything okay, though? You look like something happened."

"Oh, no, nothing serious, Ma'am. I had a rather eventful beginning of the day. James fell onto one of his toys and started to cry, and of course, that woke up the twins up and they joined. Then, AJ started yelling to do something so the other three would stop crying and when we finally managed to calm them all down, I had a huge headache and I only miraculously managed to get to work on time."

"That definitely sounds like a difficult morning." commented the Major and although Mac was amused by Bud's domestic story, she needed to focus.

"Bud, do you know anything about the case that we shall be working on?"

"Actually, I know a bit. Commander Turner is defence counsel and I'm second chair, Ma'am. It's a horrible case…" he sighed. "We were looking through the crime scene photographs… But I wasn't able to look at them all in one go…"

Mac nodded her head. Her curiosity was raised really high from the very beginning, but Bud's comment about the pictures bothered her a little. During all these years, that she spent at JAG, they saw a lot of crime scene evidence, including dead bodies and other things that no-one wished to have to see. But uneasiness made her wonder about the nature of the case. She had General Creswell's comment in mind, that it was a high-profile case, and she was sure that it would already have attracted media attention. She was also certain that she would have known about it if she had been able to convince Harm to buy TV. Yet, none of her arguments worked and all she heard was: "Don't you think it's enough that you're eating all this unhealthy food? I'm not going to buy you a TV just so you can do it lying on the couch in front of a TV!"

"Have you seen any media coverage of this case?" she asked the Major, remembering the way she reacted when she had mentioned the case to her and Commander Watson for the first time, and the blonde woman shrugged.

"Not much, Ma'am. My knowledge is limited to the fact, that Commander Wards is accused of abusing and neglecting her children, one of whom is dead now."

The smile, which she had on her face when they walked into the JAG building, faded. If that was the case, she suddenly started to understand why it was public. All cases like this were covered prominently in the media. A part of her also started to wonder how could a mother treat her children like that, but it wasn't her place to question whether it was possible. She was supposed to prosecute, so she should focus on that.

It felt good to be back in JAG. This place was like a second home for her for a number of years and it felt like she had come back home after a long absence. She knew every corner, every little nick and scrape in the building, and had memories connected to most of them, both good and bad. Those bad memories, however, didn't change the fact that she really liked the place. It wasn't that she didn't like San Diego; that place was completely different from this; it was newer, sunnier and warmer, she was still finding and exploring new places every time she walked around. And, as much as she liked the San Diego office, she remained very fond of the office in DC.

"The place seems very empty..." said the Major, when they left the elevator and saw barely a few people inside.

"It's the time, Major. Most of the people went out for lunch." said Bud and continued. "I promised Harriet that I'd tell you to call her when you have a moment, Ma'am. You can leave your things in the conference room. And now, if I may excuse myself, Ma'am, I have a stack of work waiting for me. Ever since you and Captain Rabb left, we're lucky if we find time to go home."

"Was Commander Roberts talking about the same Captain Rabb as the San Diego Judge, Ma'am?" asked the Major, looking somewhat confused, what made Mac smile a bit.

"Yes, the very same."

She could see Major had more questions on the tip of her tongue, but never got the chance to voice any of them, as just at that moment, that they heard the General's voice right behind them bringing them both to attention.

"It's nice to see you here, Colonel." he said, walking up to them. "As you were." he gave them the sign to follow him and they went to his office. "I see you decided to come with another Marine officer, Colonel."

"That's right, Sir." spoke Mac, when they stopped in front of his desk.

"When we talked, I asked if you liked San Diego... I was wondering what is the Captain's opinion about his work…?"

"I think he is happy with it, Sir."

"Good; after what I had to do to find this position for him, I don't want even to hear that he is not. Now, these are your case files." he said, handing the files to Mac. "You have three days to get to get up to speed before the court martial is scheduled to begin. Use the conference room as the office, and please, nothing to the media – leave all that to the Public Affairs people… There are already too many versions of what happened and we don't need any more of them. I think that is all. Dismissed."

"Aye, aye, Sir," both women replied and left the office.

They made their way back to the conference room, where their things had been left. They settled down and divided all the documents into two piles, as they agreed it would be faster go to through them this way. They spent a better part of the afternoon, reading everything they had very carefully, taking a break only to eat lunch, and before they realised it, it was almost time to go home. Mac, reading the witness statements, noticed that every one was different and it was difficult to conclude anything from them. The only thing present in all of them was that all the neighbours heard shouting, although nobody was able to say what was being said. Still, in the morning, when the children's father came to take them for the weekend, one of them was dead and the second was in a very bad state. Some claimed that the Commander was drunk, when she returned home in the afternoon, others that she was high on drugs and the rest that she was completely sober; some said that she was alone, but three people informed them that she did bring home an unknown guy.

Mac sighed heavily; it was difficult to make out anything with such contradictory information and she glanced up, when she heard the Major gasp. Andrea was pale, and she was covering her mouth with her hand.

"I-I think I know what the Commander was talking about, Ma'am…" she explained, when she noticed Mac's questioning look. "Excuse me, Ma'am, I need some fresh air."

She sped from the room and Mac, curious about her behaviour, reached to the photographs. She could see a living room in them, but it was in a complete mess. Everything inside the room was lying on the floor, most of the things shattered and some also covered in blood. Mac's heart jumped, when she noticed two lighter shapes on the dark carpet, which she had no doubts were the children.

Finally, she found the two pictures which the Major had looked at before leaving, as she had shoved them to the bottom of the pile. On one of them, she saw a body of a seven, maybe eight-year-old boy. His dark hair was matted with congealed blood, his eyes wide open in terror, his arms and legs buckled strangely to all sides, probably broken, his whole body and clothes covered in his blood. The second one showed his younger sister; her hair was in a complete mess, it looked like some of it had been torn out of her head and there were cuts and bruises visible all over her body. It was an absolute miracle that she survived after losing so much blood.

Mac had never believed herself to have a weak constitution, but this view was a little too much even for her. She immediately understood the Major's reaction. She quickly stood up and went to the window, opening it to get some fresh air. She breathed deeply and after a moment, the nauseous feeling disappeared. She didn't move from the spot, though; the pictures were still right in front of her eyes. Everything she read, other than the testimony of Commander Wards, who claimed that what her neighbours heard was her fight with the kids' nanny and that she was drugged, negated the truth of her statement and indicated her fault.

She wasn't a mother and she was very aware that she might never be, at least biologically, and it was rather difficult for her to understand the bond, which mothers shared with their children, especially since she had never been truly close with her own and any degree of closeness between them had dissipated completely after the woman left. Still, she couldn't imagine how anyone would be able to hurt the children. Of course, all of them had their moments of uncontrollable tantrum and it could be absolutely infuriating for the parents, but it still didn't seem enough. In fact, nothing seemed enough and whoever did that deserved a strict punishment. And now, that all pointed out that it was their mother, Mac actually felt glad that she had been handed the role of a prosecutor.

"It seems so…" she heard the Major's voice, when the woman returned. She was still quite pale, but generally she seemed to be a little better. "I can't believe any mother could do something like this to her own children…"

"Everything indicates that she did that…" spoke Mac, turning around to look at her companion. "And remember, you're working for the prosecution."

"Of course, I know that, Ma'am… But, I know it's not my business, but do you have children, Ma'am?" she asked, looking at her CO and Mac was silent. The answer seemed obvious, although there were kids in her life; she wasn't sure, though, if she could offer Mattie, Chloe or the little Roberts as an answer.

Major Johnson just nodded, when she didn't get any answer and continued, "Being a mother myself, I just can't imagine that a parent could hurt their child. My daughter has her days of being a little angel, but also those when she turns into a small devil, but no matter what, I would never let anything happen to her, I'd be ready to tear apart anyone, who would even try to do anything to her… I would never, ever, be able to hurt her, no matter what."

"I understand you, Major. But sometimes people do things that for us are completely unimaginable." Mac sighed, and started to gather the documents and pictures back into the small box. "I think that just like me, you don't feel like you can look at the rest of this for now… I think it'd be best to take a break and return to it later… I don't know about you, but I can still see those kids right in front of my eyes…" she wasn't surprised to see the Major nod in response. "Let's take it home, look through it there and tomorrow, we'll think about our strategy. Now, Major, go to the hotel, call your daughter, get some rest…"

"I will just…" started Andrea, but Mac didn't plan to let her finish.

"Do you want me to make that an order, Major?"

"It's not necessary, Ma'am."

She left and for a short while, Mac stayed alone in the conference room, looking out of the window. She was watching all the people walking in front of the building, recognising some of their faces. Finally, she gathered her belongings as well as her half of the work and left. She took a taxi to Harm's old apartment and went inside, looking around. It wasn't at all the way she remembered the place; there was very little furniture, only those things that they decided not to take to San Diego, either because hers were better or they had wanted to buy new.

She sighed, sitting heavily on the couch. She could now understand even better, why the media was interested in this case; it was horrible and most of the people couldn't imagine it could happen, but also demanded justice. She felt flattered, that while he wanted the best people working on this case, the SecNav had chosen her but she knew that it definitely wasn't going to be an easy case.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

While she had a little time before she needed to focus on the documents, which she had brought home, Andrea decided to take advantage of the opportunity for a little sightseeing. While she had been to DC a couple of times her visits were all very hurried and she hadn't really had the opportunity to truly see the capital city. Of course, she didn't have enough time to actually see a lot right now, but she could well be here for a while and surely would get more chances to make other similar side trips.

She would have been much happier about it if she had her husband and daughter there to accompany her, but for now she had to be content with her own company. But even making her mind up to make the best of a bad job didn't make the situation entirely palatable. Over the last few years she had grown somewhat accustomed to not spending a lot of time with Christian, even though since childhood, the two of them, together with their best friend, were pretty much inseparable. It was only after high school that their paths diverged; eventually, they became submarine officers and she became a Judge Advocate. She and Christian got married, had Crystal not long after that, but ever since then they hadn't spent as much time together as they would like to. Their daughter didn't really know what it was like to spend nice holiday with her parents, and that was breaking Andrea's heart. She really wanted her daughter to experience everything that children normally did with her parents, but at this moment, it didn't seem very possible. And even though she should really be used to being away from both of them, she still missed them both terribly. She didn't regret coming there, though. She would never forgive herself if she had made James come here and anything happened to his wife or baby.

Neither did Mac spend a lot of time at the place, where she was living during her stay in DC. She went to Harm's old apartment only to refresh herself a little and, dressed in civilian clothes, she drove to the hospital in order to visit Mattie. She only made one stop at the bookstore to bring something for her, and she was walking between the shelves wondering what the girl would like. She completely didn't know her taste in literature, she didn't even know she liked to read, so it was a very difficult choice for her. The worst thing was, that despite about ten phone calls, she couldn't reach Harm. She has almost given up, when her eyes fell on another name. If there was one person, other than her fiancé, who could help her, it was surely Jennifer Coates. Some time later, thanks to the Petty Officer's invaluable help, she left the shop with three books and could only hope that Mattie hadn't read them yet.

When she returned to her room from her rehabilitation session Mattie was very surprised to hear that she had a visitor. Ever since Harm and Jen moved to the other side of the country, she didn't get a lot of visits. Pretty much the only people, who were coming to see her were Bud and Harriet Roberts. Previously, she never really had the chance to truly get to know the two of them, but now she regarded them as really great people. They were visiting with her every single week, sometimes even more than once, and at the beginning she was convinced that it was all because Harm had asked them to do that. They wouldn't deny that it was partially true, but they tried their best to make her feel that they were there for her and she could call them anytime, because their promise was just one reason, why they did that.

On her way back to the room, she kept wondering who her visitor could be. As much as given the choice, she definitely wouldn't list Mac as the person she wanted to see the most, she was still very happy to notice her standing in the corridor and waiting for her. Because it was a very nice weather, she immediately suggested that they could spend some time on the nice patio the hospital had, where the patients who didn't need to stay in bed could go to have some privacy with their family, friends and other people who came to visit. Mac, however, wasn't convinced it was absolutely innocent suggestion; the glance, which Mattie sent in the direction of the room, while speaking about it, raised her suspicions high. She didn't really know how she was getting along with people, who she was sharing the room with and Harm didn't tell her anything about it, but she couldn't help feeling that she wasn't entirely at ease with them.

"What are you doing here, Mac? Shouldn't you be in San Diego?" asked the girl, when they found a place in some distance away from the other people. "Don't get me wrong, it's really nice to see you here, but I so wasn't expecting that you could come."

"I was summoned to work on a case, so for a while I am back in DC How are you, though? How is your rehabilitation going?"

"The doctors claim that it's going very well, but I don't agree with them. In my opinion, there is absolutely no progress. So what if I've got this tingly feeling in my legs? There is no change."

"Nobody can move from nothing to everything in a second, Mattie. It's going to take time and you need to be patient as well as stubborn, not to give up and…"

"I _know_ that, Mac." she interrupted, rolling her eyes a little. "It's just… It's so frustrating..!"

"I don't doubt it is. But, other than that, how are you?"

"In general, terribly bored. I mean, the Roberts do bring me books so I can read, but it's not like you can spend the whole day reading!"

"What about the people that you share a room with?"

"I actually don't really know what to think about them… I mean, I can't say that I don't like them or that they make me feel bad or anything… Separately, they're all great people and you can have a lot of fun with them, but… Whenever the guys from another room come and we're all together, they're insufferable. They act like a bunch of preschoolers, making stupid jokes and fooling around all the time! I can't deny that some of those jokes can be funny, once or twice but after five times you don't see anything funny in it anymore…"

Mac watched her carefully, as she spoke. She didn't know if it wasn't her hope making her see that, but she had a feeling that Mattie was actually opening up the way, she probably didn't have the chance to in a while. She wasn't going to deny that talking to the people on the phone, you care about, wasn't nice but it would never be the same as talking to someone in person. There were certain things that were difficult to talk about without the other person's company, and Mac's visit gave Mattie the opportunity to confess about her feelings and thoughts about everything around.

She wasn't very shocked to hear everything, what the girl was now speaking about. She had no doubts that she was placed in the room with her peers and it was in theory a very good thing, but not always. Mattie was much more mature than most of her peers; all her experience – good and bad – made her quite different from other kids her age. A lot of them didn't go through half of what she had experienced in her life, and this difference had a huge impact on the relations between her and her peers.

Mattie, on the other hand, was somewhat surprised, that she didn't hesitate to be honest with the woman, especially that she wasn't all that close with her despite the fact that they had got to know each other a little. She did like her, she played a huge part in Harm becoming her guardian twice, but at the same time, she was the woman, who kept breaking the man's heart and she was hostile to the people who were hurt those whom she cared about. On the other hand, she was very aware of the fact that they had finally found their way to each other and Mac was making Harm very happy. And this was exactly why she decided not to hold a grudge against her.

"Can I ask you about something, Mac?" asked Mattie, breaking the silence, which fell between them for a moment. "When Harm gets the guardianship over me back, will you bring me to San Diego?"

"It depends on a lot of things… We would love it if you came to us, to California but we have to consider the opinion of the doctor. If they say it's okay for you to travel all the way to the west coast, we'll surely do everything in our power to get you there. If that's what you want, of course."

"I do, very much… It sucks being here, when all the people, who are important to you are all the way there… Don't get me wrong, the Roberts are really great people, but it's not the same as being with Harm or Jen…" she stated, and then quickly added. "You too, of course."

"I'm definitely glad to hear that. I know that our relationship is nowhere near what you have with Harm or Jennifer, but I would like to work on it if you wanted, too."

"Can I be honest with you?" she asked and the expression in her eyes made Mac feel somewhat nervous. The girl's gaze was telling her, that she might not hear anything kind and she wasn't sure what to think about it. "There was a time when a part of me started to hate you for breaking Harm's heart and even though I was aware that you're actually a great person, I couldn't help it. I wasn't able to believe that even though you were aware that you love him too, you kept doing all the things to destroy the special bond that the two of you share. When Harm told me that you have gotten engaged, I wasn't sure how I feel about it. I was toyally divided – one half of me was happy, because I knew that Harm loves you and he is so very happy about it. Yet, there was this second half, which wasn't sure it's a good idea. I mean, you know each other for almost ten years now, and over this time there were so many things standing between you, so why should now be any different? How can I ever be sure, that you're not going to break his heart once again?"

"Look, I…" started Mac, but Mattie just shook her head and didn't let her finish.

"Let me finish, okay? What I want to say is that I have doubts, I really do but whenever I talk to Harm I can sense just how happy he is… Jen says that it's even more perceptible when you around the two of you in person and I have no reason not to believe her. And if he is happy, so am I, but it doesn't mean that I do not worry about what might happen in the future. I do hope that it is going to work out between the two of you, because I know that this is what Harm wants very, very much. And if he wants to give it a chance, if he believes that it is what he should do, I have no reason to do otherwise, and I know that it would make him very happy to see the two of us get along… So yes, I think I would like to work on our relationship and perhaps you'll be able to convince me, that this time you will not hurt him."

"I won't, Mattie. I promise you that."

"Good. Now, how is San Diego?"

Mattie smiled and Mac sighed with a small relief. She could understand the girl's doubts and next to the promise that she gave her, she also made one for herself that she was going to show Mattie that she shouldn't have any worries about her relationship with Harm. Now, that they were finally there, they were more than ready to do everything to keep it.


End file.
